Listen, I know what you're thinking - fruitcake is terrible. But this one's different. My buddy's Taiwanese mom gave me this recipe back in the day, and it's basically candied fruit held together with just enough batter to make it cake. When you slice it thin and hold it up, it literally looks like stained glass. No bitter citron nonsense, just pure fruit and nut goodness. Trust me on this one.
Preheat your oven to 275°F. Generously grease a tube pan, two loaf pans, or eight mini-loaf pans with shortening - don't cheap out here, this stuff likes to stick.
In a large bowl, use your hands to combine the walnuts, cut pineapple, cut cherries, and cut dates. Add the sugar and mix well, then let it sit for 10 minutes to let the fruit release some juices. (Using your hands is key here - you want to coat every piece of fruit evenly with sugar.)
Beat the eggs and vanilla until light and fluffy, about 3-4 minutes with a mixer. Pour this over the fruit mixture and mix thoroughly with your hands again.
In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. Gradually add this to the fruit mixture, mixing with your hands until everything is just combined and looks syrupy. (Don't overmix - you want just enough batter to hold the fruit together.)
Pack the mixture tightly into your prepared pan(s). This cake is dense, so really press it down to eliminate air pockets.
Bake until a toothpick comes out clean: about 90 minutes for a tube pan, 75 minutes for loaf pans, or start checking mini-loaves after 60 minutes. The low temp prevents burning while the inside cooks through.
Cool slightly in the pan, then turn out while still warm. If you used parchment, remove it while the cake is still warm or it'll stick forever.
This cake actually gets better with age - wrap it in plastic and let it sit for a few days. The flavors meld and it becomes even more amazing. Store at room temp for up to 2 weeks.
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